Sunday
I told my husband that if I am still pregnant next Sunday I am not going to church! I think one of the worst questions you can ask a pregnant woman (who is close to her time). "Are you still here?" I have sarcastic tendancies, so I will say, "No I took a trip to the moon". I know it is not loving of me, but its hard to be loving, when you are ready to give birth and are cranky because you havent. I know that is still not a good excuse, but I am being truthful.
My friend who used to live in town and moved to NY 3 years ago, came back for a visit this weekend. We met her after church at a really fun playground/park for lunch. She had some other friends meeting her there too. It was nice to see her, but a little awkward since I only knew one of her friends. My husband really felt out of place. I think I would have just rather have her come for dinner and had some one on one time with her family. Maybe next time I will suggest it.
I went to Walmart last night. I really don't like to shop on Sundays, but I needed to get out of the house and walk, but don't like to walk by myself in my neighborhood (after dark). So I got some Lime Away cleaner for my upstairs toilets which desperately need it and some crayons, markers and colored pencils that they didn't have in stock when I did my back to school shopping. I also picked up another package of cloth diapers to make sure I have enough when the baby arrives, I also picked up a grooming set: hairbrush and comb, nail cutting kit.
I have been feeling really discouraged lately. I really want to have this baby at home, but I am unsure if it is God's will. If I do have it at home I will be on my own, unless God brings a midwife or doula into my life at the last minute. My other two options: the hospital with the backup doctor from my previous midwife or go to my friend's house in VA and her midwife is willing to give me a try. While the latter is the more appealing of the two options, I really dont want to go anywhere. I sometimes wonder how much of this desire is just stubborness or is it of God. When I think of having the baby at home I feel peace, but still have my questions of "what if something goes wrong?". When I think of going to VA, I feel nervous. When I think of going to the hospital, I feel like kicking and screaming. I know I shouldn't act on my feelings, but sometimes it was hard to differentiate between what are my feelings and what is God given instinct!
My friend who used to live in town and moved to NY 3 years ago, came back for a visit this weekend. We met her after church at a really fun playground/park for lunch. She had some other friends meeting her there too. It was nice to see her, but a little awkward since I only knew one of her friends. My husband really felt out of place. I think I would have just rather have her come for dinner and had some one on one time with her family. Maybe next time I will suggest it.
I went to Walmart last night. I really don't like to shop on Sundays, but I needed to get out of the house and walk, but don't like to walk by myself in my neighborhood (after dark). So I got some Lime Away cleaner for my upstairs toilets which desperately need it and some crayons, markers and colored pencils that they didn't have in stock when I did my back to school shopping. I also picked up another package of cloth diapers to make sure I have enough when the baby arrives, I also picked up a grooming set: hairbrush and comb, nail cutting kit.
I have been feeling really discouraged lately. I really want to have this baby at home, but I am unsure if it is God's will. If I do have it at home I will be on my own, unless God brings a midwife or doula into my life at the last minute. My other two options: the hospital with the backup doctor from my previous midwife or go to my friend's house in VA and her midwife is willing to give me a try. While the latter is the more appealing of the two options, I really dont want to go anywhere. I sometimes wonder how much of this desire is just stubborness or is it of God. When I think of having the baby at home I feel peace, but still have my questions of "what if something goes wrong?". When I think of going to VA, I feel nervous. When I think of going to the hospital, I feel like kicking and screaming. I know I shouldn't act on my feelings, but sometimes it was hard to differentiate between what are my feelings and what is God given instinct!
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